In Entirety

Of jalapenos and gherkins

2009-07-22T06:12:00.000-07:00

Despite much ridicule from friends, I have always believed in perfection. So when someone says "Its ok, nobody is perfect", I ususally make a desicion on whether to persue the matter or not depending on who the somebody is.
There is a lot said about this is in different books and movies, the most common example being this: When God made something as small as a snowflake to such perfection, how could any of his creations be defective even in the slightest?
The most common counter arguements I've heard either involve the concept of entropy or genetics. Both of them advocate randomness which can easily be translated into imperfection.
This brings us to the run-in-the-mill Science vs. God arguement.
Yesterday, my car broke down. I was on my way back home after a tiring day and it acted up. I had to pull over, call the on-road service and have them pick it up. It was the latest in a string of annoyances. My phone (to which Im shamelessly attached) had also been giving me trouble for the past week. And I was still recovering from my bout of home-sickness having just returned after a 2 week holiday.
When my idyllic school life ended, I had more trouble coping with the new environment than most people. For a person who believed in perfection, such a change did not bode well.
Changes are by far the only factors that made me doubt my belief.
Today I discovered a jar of jalapenos and gherkins in the fridge. I didnt even know that gherkins were called gherkins, I called them pickled cucumbers and ate them gluttenously when we ordered the fresh garden salad at pizza hut. My mom had found them at a store and forgotten to tell me she'd left them in the fridge.
As I made myself a sandwich (filled with a ridiculous amount of both) I found myself relaxing. And somehow an idea that had been forming in my mind all these days translated into this blog.
Perfection is dynamic. A change is not a glitch in perfection, it is one of the dots which when you stand back and watch, can be joined to other dots to form the pattern one choses.
The most important tool in doing so is- time.
From a skeptics point of view, this whole thing sounds like me fooling myself into thinking that my troubles are actually gifts in disguise.
But contrary to that notion, I believe that any trouble deserves the appropriate response-anger, rage or even tears. In fact, Im as annoyed as can be about my car breaking down or my phone crashing. The jalapenos and gherkins however reminded me of the big picture.
When something goes wrong, its unnatural to think "Oh its a part of the big picture, so no point getting worried"
But when sufficient time passes, if we do see that, then the next time even as we lose our temper and patience, we know in the back of our minds that we are only joining the dots.
As far as the Science Vs. God debate goes, I dont consider myself an expert on either to make any comments, so I'll conclude by saying that I know Science exits because my senses prove it; I know God exists because my mind gives evidence and I know that both can exist side-by-side because I do.

These are a few of my favourite things

2009-06-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

Some things that never fail to make me smile:
The rain!
Little children geared up to go to school. (With their school-bags, water bottles and a hanky pinned neatly to the front of their uniforms. They always look so excited to be off to school!)
Fresh flowers transported on two-wheelers early in the morning.
A husband holding his wife’s hand while crossing the road.
A guy running to catch the bus and making it.
My favourite song playing as the ringtone on a stranger’s mobile.
The rare auto guy who gives back even 1 ruppee change.
Chocolate ice-cream!
My grand-ma complaining about the maid servant.
A pile of books (after a splurge at Landmark or a visit to the library)
Reading the things my class-mates wrote about me in our year books.
My friends dragging me away from stores selling ear-rings while we‘re out.
A patient who insists that he has quit smoking and on further digging admits that he’s quit since the last 24 hours.
The cartoony-fied picture of my dad that crops up on my phone when he calls.
The movie chupke-chupke. ( The old one with Dharmendra, Sharmila Tagore, Amitabh and Jaya- its one adorable movie!)
The list is actually quite extensive but these are the top 15 :)

How to administer competence?

2009-06-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

In continuation with my previous musings about anger, I remember saying that very few things make me angry. Top on that list is administrative offices. Earlier the idea of corrupt, kam-shor babus was limited to govt. offices but I can tell from experience that the cliché holds true for admin offices of all institutions in our country.
Heres an account of my experience with the admin office of my college which left my blood boiling.
The year I joined my course, the govt announced that due to the high fees demanded by private colleges, they would provide a scholarship amount to all the students who were admitted in my category.The plan was that we would pay the full amount to the college and each year the govt allotted subsidy would be returned to us.
The colleges are sent application forms which are to be passed on to us and submitted to the govt with all necessary documents attached. After verification, the money is sent to the college and handed over to us.
Sounds like a simple enough plan. But to the people at the admin office this is probably the biggest and hardest task of their year.
The very first year was uneventful and we received the refund without any hitches.
This time however, after we submitted the applications, the govt office sent a requisition that along with everything else we had to attach a copy of our mark sheet to prove that we had gotten thro our exams and were worthy of their scholarship. This was probably too difficult for the staff at our office to comprehend and they did the easiest thing they could. Filed away the requisition letter. Later we discovered that the govt office even tried to telephone them as a reminder. But I guess any inclination to work on it lost out to a conversation of who brought what for lunch, who is flirting with who or who's mother-in-law is the worst.
In the end when we realized that all other colleges have received their refund and did a little investigation, the whole story came out.
The govt office now claims that as the financial year is over, we can’t get the money back even if we send in our mark sheets belatedly. The admin office claims that the person incharge quit his job and during the shift of duties, the issue may have been over-looked.
This is exactly the kind of thing that makes me want to hurl books or push people off stairs, but I cant.
We even briefly considered telling the college that we will pay that much less this year but couldn’t do even that. In a college like ours, being in everyone’s good books is just as important as intelligence or hard-work when it comes to getting through exams.
In any case we are now shuttling between the two offices, tolerating excuse after excuse while our money is languishing beneath what is now going to be a mountain of paper-work.
But my friends and I have decided not to give up and to keep badgering both offices for as long as it takes to get our money back. If that doesn’t happen, I hope we atleast succeed in annoying them and making them guilty enough to last a life-time.

Answer with a slap

2009-05-29T00:02:00.000-07:00

I've always wondered how anger turns to violence. Is it that anger makes people lose control and take a swing at someone or are they fully aware and consciously decide to beat someone up. My doubt arises from the fact that I get angry very rarely and it has never progressed to out-of-control type of rage. And although on numerous occasions I've wished to hurl a heavy book at someone or yank someones hair out or even push them down a flight of stairs, I've never actually done it. So does that mean Im chicken for fighting my own feelings or does that make me a sensible person who is in control of my emotions?
A couple of days ago, 17th of May to be exact, I read an article on the front page of Times of India. It was a report about a girl who helped nab a drunk cop who tried to snatch her chain. In brief, the girl was travelling alone on her two-wheeler after dark and was chased by man on a bike. He tried to pull a gold chain off her neck but her struggle and probably clever manoeuvering of her vehicle ensured that he couldnt get his hands on it. But that wasnt the end of it, after his failed attempt, he tried speeding away but our heroine chased him down. At a dead end, she actually got off and slapped him. She also alerted the passers-by and with their help showered some blows on him before handing him over to the police. That still wasnt the end of it, the chain-snatcher was found to be a cop himself. Anyway the happy end to this story is that the girl recieved a reward of Rs. 5000 and was invited by the commisioner of police to join the force if she wished.
The article caught my attention as in the light of all the discussions following the Mangalore pub attacks and so called 'moral policing', I think this girl's effort must be applauded. She reminded everone including me that the question of whether there is a reason to victimise someone, whether that reason is right or wrong, all of it arises only if we allow oursleves to be victims. Someone tried to enter her personal space and she punished him for it.
Personal space has both physical and mental dimensions. When someone invades your mental space, its possible to deflect them because I believe that everyone has equal strength of mind whether they know it or not. It is possible to prevent anger from turning into violence.
But invasion of physical space is a whole different thing as not everyone is of equal physical strength. Especially if its a clash between men and women. Beloning to the fairer sex invlolves a degree of acceptance of lesser physical strength, but this story proves that even here one can use one's mind to repel encroachment and also answers my question of when anger is allowed to turn into violence.

Curls, music, rain or temple?

2009-05-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

For as long as I remember, my hair has been one of the biggest concerns in my life. Shallow as that may sound, its true. I never miss the opportunity to remind my dad how its entirely his fault that I ended up with noodles for hair. If you are someone who knows me, you’re probably wondering what Im talking about. Straightening irons, blow-drying and anti-frizz serum has helped me ensure that you never see my hair in its natural form. If you are one of my friends, you’re probably rolling your eyes ‘here-she-goes-again’. But this blog is not about my hair, its about inspiration.
I’ve always fancied myself as a writer. When I was younger, I used to write a lot- stories, poems, book-reviews, magazine articles, what not. My English exam sheets used to be filled with arrows and instructions to the examiner on finding the continuation of answers at different locations. One time, my English teacher exasperated at the circus involved in finding all the parts of the answer and grading them, threatened to knock off marks and claimed I had verbal diarrhea. But as the fiery teenager became an adult of the mundane world, the very same one the teenager swore never to grow up into, inhibition and plain old laziness caught up. Despite the millions of things running in my head, I hardly wrote anything. When blogging became the new cool thing to do, I started too. But it lasted less than a few months with my posts numbering five.
But I always knew that if I found my inspiration to write again, I could beat both inhibition and laziness. Over the last few years I have found it very few times and even fewer times has it lasted long enough for me to write anything of significance. More often, when inspiration passes I end up discontinuing or deleting what ive written.
So did I find it today? What inspired me to write again, to start this blog afresh.
That brings me back to my hair. Normally, my mom and a few of my close friends are the only ones who think my hair is great as it is. Normally and predictably I discard their opinion citing their bias. But today after a really long time, I didn’t put my hair through the usual post-wash routine and let it dry. When my driving instructor arrived, I left without brushing my hair, putting on ear-rings or even bindi. Again for those who know me, this is unbelievable. Anyways as I drove, I mentioned that I had never seen the temple we were passing by. My instructor immediately made me pull over. He said a wish to visit god should never be put off for later. Feeling strange that today of all days I wasn’t dressed for the temple, I went in.
On the way back, mom had her driving lesson and I sat at the back listening to music.
That’s when I felt it, inspiration. No thunder-bolt or lightening, no sudden jerk of realisation. But a kind of equilibrium. My entire theory on equilibrium with the world (nothing to do with physics) will definitely be the topic of another post someday. Anyway as I listened to the best play list the shuffle feature on my ipod has generated, it even started drizzling. ( I love rain, for someone who has lived in Chennai, rain is always a thing of celebration) Now that clinched my diagnosis that I felt inspired.
But I was also aware that this moment of inpsiration would be lost the moment we reached home.Why maybe it could have ended right then if the next song on the play list was one I didn’t like much. But today the signal was a stronger one (I have a theory on signals as well!)
Anyway, I still havent explained the relevance of my hair to all this.
After typing so much, still in doubt if I’ll bother posting it, im trying to figure out where the inspiration came from, why today and how it lasted this long.Was it the visit to the temple or the music or the rain? Maybe it was the glimpse I caught in the rear-view mirror of the girl before hair-straighteners. Maybe it was all of it. So before anything breaks the equilibrium, let me hit publish post!